Long Distance…. Is That Metric or Imperial System??

Recently posted question of Long Distance Relationships sparked off some pretty intense debates (I didn’t post it btw, I just forwarded the question) that led to things about relationships.

I have never given it much thought anyways, if I ever got posted overseas I would go for the sake of adventure and career, and shod whichever relationship I was in at the time, the relationship would just have to make do. Isn’t that what makes a good relationship? Surviving all situations and yada yada things like that?!

Sure it’s easy for me to say all these things cause I’m not married or have kids, jests my boss. I wouldn’t know how much more limiting it is to be legally tied to someone and have their offspring’s, but that’s the eventuality of sacrifice that you choose to take upon yourself when you tied the knot. I’ve met many people who had to go to other countries to seek better fortunes so that their families can have better lives. And most of us know them too; they are the foreign maids that populate most domestic spaces in KL.

And to go off tangent a little bit, recently I had two expats down from HK and they took a look at the Nepalese and Indonesian workers at the hawker stalls and they asked me if they were illegal immigrants. (Yes, every single Caucasian/White ass expat has a bit of obnoxiousness in them whenever they come over to Asia) I looked at them and sarcastically replied, “No, they’re expats.” This drew some laughter but I think they got the gist of me picking on their snobbery.

But given a choice, I really wouldn’t start a LDR. So says most of my friends too. And then the Yays countered by saying that any relationship takes a lot of work, hope, and trust. So why does distance matter? There is Skype, emails and instant messaging nowadays, why wouldn’t anyone consider it? And the fact that ‘now everyone can fly’ makes the world a whole lot smaller place. (this only applies to us living in Asia I guess- cause to fly to Korea would bust me by 2 grand and to LA would be about 5 grand)

I don’t honestly know. Sometimes, the way I look at it, if you only ever saw your partner on weekends, what difference does it make if you see them once every 6 months? Of course we all long for the security that if something catastrophic happens, significant partner would be there after the instant that you called. Where else in a LDR, the partner would have to consider applying for a loan to fly from Uzbekistan just to be by your side (and then factor in the 16 hour flying time).

Then there is the concept in China that RY introduced to me; and CT backs it up. The MBLA arrangement. Married But Living Apart. The difficulty for newly weds to obtain their own living units in China has presented a unique living condition where couples are married but each still lives at their respective parents homes. But that’s not really long distance someone else argued. Okokok, so long distance would be defined not by physical distance apart, but time apart right? No. How about alternating driving down to Singapore every other weekend to see one’s partner and vice versa, would that be considered long distance? Because then that couple would see each other every weekend. Which translates to about the same time most urban couples spend together. So Singapore not far to be long distance enough? I’m confused. Maybe the emphasis should be on quality time and not quantity; which is what every couple should concentrate on.

I gather LDR is when someone has to spend more than 10K every year just to sustain it- telephone calls, snail mails and airplane tickets. Which is the price of 2 Chloe bags. So some would say meeting the right mate is definitely worth more than 2 Chloe bags per year. Another Yay countered that you don’t have to be rich to sustain an LDR what with free internet calls nowadays. So how long can one couple Skype without meeting? You still need money to meet each other. So yes, I still think LDR requires a substantial amount of money, and a lot more effort to invest in. And it’ll only probably work for those who are extremely independent and not the manja manja type. (Sorry honey, he can’t come over to help you put that bookshelf together)

And to sum it all up, everyone agrees that Love, Hope and Trust make any relationship work. I’m just not that convinced about LDRs still.

I am all for the nay, but I would love to meet the one man that can make me say yay to LDR. So for now, I’ll still believe that my Chloe bags are worth it. At least they are by my side when I go to the movies instead of an empty chair where my supposedly ‘LDR’ partner should have been seating.