Second Place

Every guy should have Spiderman's Aunt as an advisor. In the struggling midst of battling evil villians, Spidey thought he didn't have the capacity to be with Mary Jane and to make her his priority.

Then Aunt Spidey told Peter Parker to always make Mary Jane his first priority.

And women are such funny creatures. Once you make them numero uno, as a guy, you will suddenly find yourself encased with trusting web swinging freedom. It's true. As soon as a woman is reassured about your commitment to her, you could be frequent flyer miles apart and yet she wouldn't doubt you for a moment.

I don't think i'll ever be good enough to be first priority, but maybe second place isn't so bad either.

It's de ja vu, it'll be career first, then me.


Could I live with that?

Wake Me Up When July Ends

Sometimes all you wanna do is sit in your Eames chair and contemplate the boundaries of design….. and then your boss asks you where are his plans, the project manager requests for the stage design dimensions, the electrician calls you up and asks who is to pay for the light bulbs that keep blowing out once ever y three weeks, (on that note, the management office that runs the establishment pays for the new bulbs cause it is under monthly maintenance and not the poor architect who has yet to collect her project payment fees, even though the architect did specify for that light fitting), the editor requests for two of your architect’s statement, your partner asks you where to get the plum colored glass mosaic tile that I specify for (plum mind you, not lavender, not magenta and certainly not purple), the RSJ calls and asks why weren’t you in contact with them and why I didn’t show up at the meeting on Wednesday, the RIPPP asks you where is your GSE program docile & have I prepared the presentation for the run through on Sunday, the client calls to confirm that you have to attend their big do on Saturday (Saturday!?!! My day of chillaxing… :-S),

And then I think…. It’s ok, I can chillax on Sunday…. Wait….. I have to go back to the office to help out with the photo shoot at 6am, then I have to go for my RIGSE training and mock presentation, then purchase large quantities of Malaysian souvenirs at the Central Market and then find some time to cry.

Cause by then I am back in the square before the Eames chair….. lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling fan and wondering when can I afford my own original Eames chair…………..

Tell Me Something.........

The one about the Non-Politically Correct Present:

Tell me something, is buying lingerie for your girlfriend really a great Yultide present? Guys argue that it's a great idea cause it's expensive and luxurious and their woman love it!

Erm.... Seriously?!

Isnt buying lingerie for her more akin to buying her a cook book so that she can whip up something delicious for you to eat?! *THIS SOUNDS SO WRONG SOMEHOW....*

Let's face it men, buying lingerie for your woman is more like buying yourself a little treat............ and who's to say you're not secretly wearing it when your woman is out of the house eh?!

So may I suggest, keep the lingerie idea but add a little Tiffany box alongside the satin, silk and lace.

And as one of my fav buddy tells me: "Ahhh, Lingerie.... the gift that keeps on giving....."


The One about the Inappropriate Gift Asking:

Tell me ladies, where do you get off asking your boyfriend to buy you that expensive phone/ Gucci Bag/ MacBook Pro, one that cost more than his one month salary?! And saying that he can afford it does'nt really justify you being a materialistic left wing cow.

Ok, maybe asking for it isnt as bad as throwing a tantrum when he buys you a phone that you think is 'too cheap'. As it's just as bad as being able to afford all these lovely goodies yourself, but unwilling to spend the greens on it.

I know everyone prefers it if you tell them what you want for your anniversary/Valentine/Birthday/Hannukah/Independance/Christmas day present, but do you really have to ask for something thats worth 3 months of his paycheque?

Bring back the Bra burning days i say.

There's A Hole in My Pocket, And It's About His Size

My mirror holds the secrets of my past
Even the ones I deny reflecting on

J

Suddenly I See IT

Somehow, I've missed the value of things unseen........ and now even more so because I'm missing what I what I want to see, but can't.

The presents and wishes, if there was an accumulative exchange counter, I'd trade it all in......... for a plane ticket and an answer.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

J

Why I need a new DSLR

Dear G,

I just got to see the photo on my laptop, and I must say the picture actually does not do justice. I'm much better looking than what was captured...

To M,

Obviously the lens on my camera is not technically sophisticated enough to capture your image as you see it yourself. I will need to upgrade it with the self perception mode.

Ode to My Comfort Food

Only one person in the entire neighbourhood has seen me at my worst in the mornings: deviod of coffee, lack of sleep and in hobo rumpled clothes; my favourite Nasi Lemak Lady. I call her Auntie instead of Makcik cause I am retarded that way.

And for THREE MONTHS she went away for a holdiday and didnt inform me!!! I thought she had left me forever!!! Abandonment issues arose, self-esteem plummeted and I went into withdrawal. SOB!!!!

But joy of joys, Auntie returneth today and so I rededicate MY ODE TO MY NASI LEMAK LADY previously published in a different space in 2007:

ODE TO MY NASI LEMAK LADY

SS3’s best kept secret

Is the makcik by the road side thicket

Peddling her nourishing ‘fatty rice’

And side dishes prepared with spice

Ikan bilis

Mixed in red paste chillies

Nasi with santan

Kangkung with no belacan

Crispy crunchy kacang

Goes well with the beef rendang

Sod the warning to fight heart disease

Sotong sambal- janggut only please

Limpa fried chewy and sinful

Kerang rendang also delightful

Curry chicken kuah

Make waistlines look like ‘bertuah’

Ya lar- eat already become dumpy

The Chinese sign of prosperity

Eggs boiled and cucumber slices

bungkus in banana leaf devices

All not so pedas

So I makan till I puas-puas


And i dedicate the Animaniacs BURP SONG as ending footnote :)